منبع: https://www.qualitydigest.com/inside/lean-article/don-t-be-defeated-again-020124.html
15. Manage your minutes as intensely as you do your hours
What’s one item on your calendar each day that represents an activity that will help you become more of the person you want to be?
Building capacity in those around you helps ensure you have the team you need to accomplish your professional and personal goals. Remember the African proverb that says, “If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together.”
What are the small time ticks draining the life blood out of your day? We tend to discount the value of five minutes here or there in a day, but over the course of a year, five minutes a day adds up to more than 30 hours.
When people request your time, don’t miss the chance to educate them on the priorities, commitments, or obligations that cause you to say no. It helps them more clearly understand your motives, conditions that might cause you to say yes, and possible availability in the future.
Getting face-to-face time with people (or even phone calls) is more rare than ever. However, it’s these moments that often tell us volumes more about a person’s thoughts, feelings, and fears than we could extract from a hundred emails or a thousand text messages. Make it a personal goal to remove or minimize any distractions to having a deeper conversation. Reflect on everything from your body language, voice tone, ability to listen, and even putting down that electronic device that is normally glued to your hand. For more about being a better listener, read “Strong Leaders Need to Be Level 3 Listeners.”
What’s an area of your life where you have been avoiding feedback?
10. Be a fanatic about finishing
As Kelly the gardener says in my book Always Growing (Elucidate Publishing, 2017), “Dirt is what you get on your pants.” In horticultural terms, soil provides the structure and nutrients to help seeds and plants grow. As a leader, you have a similar opportunity to help those around you grow. And while formal training courses and job assignments are a part of that process, nothing has a greater effect than your day-to-day engagement with your team.
Trying to control everything is exhausting and leaves little or no room for creativity or fostering deeper relationships with others. To see the “Big 3,” read, “Three Things You Need to Stop Trying to Control.”
17. Have three ‘its’ per day
Talk about an “elephant” weighing you down! Regardless of the issue, circumstance, or frustration, there is something constructive you can do. Remember the words of Margaret Wheatley: “Be brave enough to start a conversation that matters.” If you’re not sure how to get the conversation started, start here for some great tips.
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We cripple our brain’s ability to think clearly when we imprint so many possibilities on it and leave it to work on all of them. Before taking on any task, ask yourself, “What does finished look like?” and allow yourself enough time to complete the task when scheduling it. If you can’t finish it, at least schedule time on your calendar when you will come back and get it done. Your brain will thank you.
What are two tasks you need to finish that would free up your brain’s resources for other things?
Where would established boundaries help you better focus on other tasks?
Which is better—practicing avoidance behaviors, or working through the tough stuff to get the results you want?
14. Use ‘won’t’ more and ‘can’t’ less
3. Spend more time ‘becoming’ instead of simply doing
While I should be inspired by the work and life of others, thinking less of myself because I haven’t achieved some arbitrary metric of success is not healthy. I should only be comparing myself to myself. Am I becoming more of the person I aspire to be? Am I making more choices in alignment with my values? Whose approval do I really want anyway? A great way to stop comparing yourself is found in Tip No. 21—practicing gratitude each day.
Who do you (or will you) invite into your life this year who will help you keep a healthy perspective on your work and life?
With that frame of mind, here are 24 ways I believe you can move your work and life forward this year.
What are some of your self-induced barriers to being present in a conversation?
What’s an it for you tomorrow? This week?
What is one activity in your day that consistently takes more time than it should?
Who are three people you want to invest in this week?
What type of environment are you creating as a leader? How can you help your team members grow this year by the way you work with them?
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In his enlightening book Meaningful Work (TarcherPerigee, 2017), Shawn Askinosie shares his experiences of spending time with monks and how he learned to use his insights to create his own rhythms for work and life. He highlights how monks move from being to doing and then back to being, while we so often start from doing and rarely take time to be. I see this play out in how most people handle their mornings. Instead of using those first few minutes of the day to reflect and nourish their body and soul, they spend it in a hurried rush to get to work and the next task. This year, challenge yourself to use the first and last 10 minutes of the day to simply be in the moment, not focused on getting something done, but on the person you are and who you want to become.
You can read more in-depth about the concept in this article, but a simple definition for humble bragging is making a self-deprecating statement to draw attention to yourself, like saying, “I only got four hours of sleep last night because I was finishing the proposal,” or, “My weekend is so packed I don’t know where I’ll find any time for myself.” When I hear comments like those, I question the people’s willingness to make better choices with how they are using their time. If someone wants to impress me, they can say things like, “Last week I started handling interruptions better, and I doubled my productivity,” or, “I was so tired of not being present with my family in the evenings I started leaving my phone in the car for at least two hours after work.”
Whether it’s on how long you have for a work conversation, number of times you will check your email per day, the number of notifications you allow on your smartphone, or how available you are to others, know and communicate those boundaries. Too often we are so accessible in the moment that we are inaccessible to the deeper work that needs to be done. An illuminating read on the subject of boundaries is Henry Cloud’s Boundaries for Leaders (Harper Business, 2013).
1. Plan for all three rings of your circus
What’s one area of your life where you’re holding yourself back because you won’t do something?
When we’re busy, we shift into maintenance mode and just try to meet the daily demands on our time, falsely believing we’ll have more time in the future for the “becoming.” Let me know when you find that future time—I’d like to know your secret.
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Who needs more than a simple no from you?
8. Seek advice and really listen to it
7. Stop trying to control everything
18. Stop the humble bragging
To free up mental (and physical) time for more important things, develop routines for everything from choosing what to wear to the food you have for breakfast. Make every Tuesday dinner at your house “Taco Tuesday.” The goal is to minimize the time spent on the less important stuff so you can focus on the bigger picture.
What tasks do you need to more closely quantify to see how much time they are taking up in your day?
Several years ago, every few days I had the privilege of caring for my 95-year-old aunt. I could have a million things running through my head and feel like I truly was juggling elephants—until I sat down with her. All of those “first world problems” just no longer seemed so important.
You take the action first, and then have the feeling you desired. Exercise is an example for me. There are lots of mornings I don’t feel like exercising, but I do it anyway. As the minutes pass by, I begin to have the feelings I wanted to have before exercising. Feelings follow actions.
5. Intentionally invest in at least one person each day
Lean
Don’t Be Defeated Again
24 tips to make 2024 better than last year
2. Find a perspective keeper
What skills or insights are you looking to strengthen this year?
In case you’re new to my work, I co-authored a book called Juggling Elephants (Portfolio, 2007) that suggests you need to manage your life like it’s a circus. At the heart of the model is that you have three rings: work, self, and relationships. The question that always tells the tale is, “Which ring do you neglect most often?” We somehow believe that we can be our best at work by consistently sacrificing our personal wellness and relationships with others. Sound familiar? For more about managing your life in circus mode, read “Balance, Blend, or Blur: Keep Your Eyes on the Big 3.”
Published: Thursday, February 1, 2024 – 12:02
Its are “important things” as described in my book Getting to It (Harper Business, 2013). As you plan your day, always identify your three its. They may be three work its, or a combination of work and personal its. Discover them by saying to yourself, “If I only get three things done today, they would be….” This helps you focus your energy for the day and ensure you go to bed that night with fewer regrets. You may get more than three done, but you know what has to be done.
19. Get more learning through your earbuds
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What is one activity you should start doing to improve your personal wellness?
What’s one thing you need to reduce your desire to control?
21. Gratifying exhaustion vs. empty fatigue
22. Compare yourself to… yourself
16. Be boring
24. Be soil… not dirt
6. Pre- and post-quantify any task
11. Deliver a more educational no when needed
20. Don’t wait to feel like taking action
‘Be brave enough to start a conversation that matters.’—Margaret Wheatley
While seeking advice can sometimes be uncomfortable, it’s an incredibly effective way for us to improve at almost anything. We have so many blind spots that others can help us identify. It doesn’t have to be anything formal. Just start the conversation by saying, “This year, I’d really like to improve on ____. Do you have a couple of insights on how I can do better?” Just start the conversation by saying, “This year, I’d really like to improve on ____.”
I saw this one in a post at marcandangel.com. Just because you’re tired at the end of the day doesn’t mean you filled the day with meaningful activities. A good litmus test of your daily success is to ask, “Do I feel gratified by what I did today… or empty?” Finding something to be grateful for in each day becomes easier with practice. So don’t stop!
13. Be passionately present in every conversation
With all the time chunks in your day when you are traveling, waiting, or maybe even relaxing, there is no reason why you can’t use that time to stream some knowledge or insights through podcasts or audible books. If you’re looking for a podcast to start, I recommend Coaching for Leaders. And if you need one just to laugh, check out The Best of Car Talk from NPR.
What are some “humble brags” you should stop using to try and draw attention to your unwillingness to better manage your time?
Can’t implies that the resources aren’t available, or the issue is so difficult it’s almost impossible. Won’t reminds us that we too often don’t want to make ourselves or others uncomfortable to make something happen. For a deeper dive into this concept, read “What’s the One Word That’s Really Holding You Back?”
4. Ask for help more often
9. Set boundaries
What actions can you be taking right now that will start you feeling better today?
